Kel, I ganked your picture

stillsethcohen


Implications For A Thick Skull

Gotta Love The Freedom Balls


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Here's to Goodbye, tomorrow's gonna come too soon.
SUPER GUINEA PIG
stillsethcohen
Well, I realized yesterday that I had several depressing things to think about. Mostly how I have a decent job, some genuinely real friends, and most of all people who can come up with something nice to say aboot me even if it's just to cheer me up. However, I concluded that I am still feeling rather "alone" or "lonely" or maybe both. I've been single my entire life, and it's never really bothered me until I realized I don't exactly have any single friends. I force myself into a third wheel situation, and I'm actually more comfortable in group situations than one on ones. I wouldn't even know what to do without feeling awkward if there wasn't a third or more person there. Well, that may be a stretch, but still... It's not like I try and be ...not single... but I don't really have a whole lot of a social life to share with anybody. I'm not exactly a social person. Look how often I update this sunnuvagun. Having come to this conclusion last night, I went to bed at 8:30PM, after watching some semi-freakish version of a Miley Cyrus song on American Idol. My alarm went off at 4:30 to a song I didn't want to start my day to and I went back asleep to wake up at 6:47. I was supposed to be at work at 6. Oops.

So, I guess I must've slept off whatever my problem was last night because I feel a lot better. I don't care so much about those things. Now I'm off for 3 days and have not really anything to do. Well, besides maybe think about the Good things going for me. I'm happy, I think. Maybe I just don't know what it's like to be happy after so many years of being surrounded by bitter disappointment and inconsistencies. I'm out on my own. I should be having fun. If I made a new year's resolution to make one new friend this year do you suppose I could do it? I don't care if it's March 4 (I had put the 3rd then, having realized that could be why I couldn't get up this morning, changed my mind) but I think I'm going to try it. Where do people look for new friends that aren't necessarily something of the "relationship" category?

Maybe I'm still tired. Am I being unrealistic? I'm not used to encouragement. I'm not used to being the one that has to change plans, nor the one who forgets about them. But, to those of you who have dealt with my shortcomings over the years, I am sorry. :) For some reason, I've had this feeling for a while that I want to irk some people. I've been very good about not naming names and pointing fingers, and it has led me to this warped sense of self that decrees from time to time,

"nanananananana I wanna get in a fight!"

  • 1
I loved your American Idol comment. She got kicked off, btw.

I totally get the lonely thing. Just have faith that when the time is right it'll happen for you!

I saw she got the boot, but I was more disappointed in the "Kiss Me" girl. I was just telling somebody that based on what she has presented herself as, I am expecting her to sing "Shiny Happy People" by REM next week. And if she sucks that up, I am going to be voodoo hoping she gets booted.

Thanks for the encouragement. :) Sometimes I wonder if I was put on this world to be a lump on a log or what it is I'm supposed to be doing...I get rather clueless very easily ha.

We all get lost once in a while but we always manage to find our way :) <3

I just love Didi and as long as she is safe I don't care who gets kicked out at this point.

  • 1
?

Log in